thoughts

luna has had an up and down few days. it's difficult being so dominant and suddenly finding out that for over a year you have really just been burying your submissive side down because you were too scared to submit.

It also leads to fears of things like what if luna prefers submission to dominance, what if luna is too submissive for Mistress Rachel's needs (which is very likely since luna was trained into being a doormat, essentially, so now Mistress has to re-train her into not being so incapable of ever arguing or complaining or denying her will even if it's bad for her/luna), and what if Mistress Rachel needs to be kitten and needs luna to be Mari at a time when she is incapable of it.

luna has been seriously worrying over all of these things and more, until first, Mistress totally reassured her that she thinks how in sync we are with each other will make things balance out, second Mistress pointed out that of course the first while is going to be luna needing to be luna because she has buried all of her submissive needs for years basically, and third, luna started finishing one of her absolute favourite webcomics called Girly. she is reaching a point where (SPOILER ALERT) the "sidekick" had gotten tired of being the sidekick and let badness overtake her. The "leader" decided that if that was the case, then she would become the sidekick and let her sidekick be the leader until any point which they decided to switch back, if ever. (END SPOILER)

The ease of it, how simple and easily the transition went... really reassured luna. Mistress had said earlier that she thought she might have been getting worn out with being the sub all the time, and certainly frustrated with being unable to order luna to do things when she was being indecisive. Even as a domme, Mari is very indecisive because the whole of her life until she was about 19 she never ever had to make a single decision on her own. her father and mother decided what clothes and toys and food and films and everything else she ever owned or did. whenever she was doing things notinolving her parents or family she allowed her friends to make the decisions. and then entered a D/s relationship with someone who was not a very good D and turned abusive in the end and turned her into a doormat who couldn't think for herself until she realised she was nearing a point where she would rather kill herself than continue living that way.

Both sides of Marina, D and s, are crazy indecisive and often put off making decisions until the thought of them, even tiny ones, drives her into severe panic attacks. luna being luna means that if ever Mistress wants to make a decision for Mari, like ordering her to do something that she is putting off but has to do, she can just say "luna, do (insert here)" and luna will obey almost immediately. That is probably the only good thing about her doormat training. Rachel now has a stable way of making Marina do things she is indecisive about without having to worry about overstepping her bounds.

This is all very frightening for both parts of Marina because change is scary as hell, but slowly she is beginning to feel more and more and more like this is right.

Okay that being over with now onto the fun part of the blog.

OMIGOSH LUNA NEVER THOUGHT BEING HYPNOTISED WAS POSSIBLE.

Like, seriously. even now, even with concrete proof, she half-fears she is just somehow faking it or something without realising it. Crazy.

It was so fun though. And highly fucking arousing. luna loooooves feeling so helpless to Mistress' will and it makes luna squirmy and so incredibly wet whenever Mistress puts her under. It really makes luna want Mistress to use her and torture her and do all kinds of naughty things with her, no matter the taboo. (Well, within limits. No amount of hypnosis will make luna into toilet stuff or vomiting or being spat upon. None whatsoever. Which is all well and good because Mistress isn't into it either.) And Mistress basically like... Spent the whole of luna's day while Mistress was awake, dropping luna into and out of trance. Apparently as a submissive luna is highly suggestible. Mistress tried the trigger she inset into luna on Mari just to see if it'd work, sneaky girl, and it DID omigosh. Mari fought it but ended up dropping off, and was able to fight it less each time it was used. Kind of scary but a good scary, and very weird and totally crazy. Scary because despite fighting it Mari likes the idea of her pet having such control over her in a way even though it's hard and frightening to admit that because it means even as a domme she likes the idea of submission.

Anyhow, luna kept waking up feeling so tingly and floaty, and unless Mistress clarified totally woken up and aware, fuzzy and not sleepy but almost-drowsy. Like she had just woken up from the best nap but was still in the process of waking up.

luna would go into more detail of the hypnosis but does not have permission to make herself cum, refuses to cheat by switching to being dominant, and would be put into a state of nearly unbearable arousal if she went into more details of it.

Which is hilarious really since luna very rarely needs or wants to physically orgasm - it's a sign of what a huge thing the hypnosis is for this relationship that it can put her into such a state both doing the entrancing and being entranced.

So yeah. That's it for now, more to come in the future - hopefully the next post will be by Mari, and not luna, but who knows what the future holds!

Ta, lovies~!

~luna <3