Thursday 26 December 2013

Happy presents day!

A belated Merry Christmas to anyone who reads our corner of the blogosphere!

I bought a present for kitten and I with some of the money I got for Christmas. Well, two presents really. First, I got a pair of couples necklaces from amazon with an amazon gift card, although that was really the second gift I got for both of us. It's just not the one I intend to focus on in this post.

The second thing I got for both of us, is I got myself a steel pocket watch. Brushed steel on the back, shiny steel on the front, with a lovely chain and no designs on it whatsoever. Plain and simple. I bought it with two things in mind: one, that I adore pocket watches, and two, that it would be a perfect tool for entrancing kitten with.

As I have mentioned before, I am certain, I have set a trigger into kitten so that she goes into a light trance whenever she hears or sees me say or type out "Entrance". It has to be capitalised, and it has to be either in a script or recording if it isn't real time. We used various methods to get this trigger into effectiveness but now it's permanent, or seems to be, anyways.

So yesterday I went about explaining my plans to kitten and she jumped onboard with fervour. We worked out how best to set the trigger in for the watch entrancing her and successive sightings of it pulling her deeper, and tried it out. Now, let me be clear here. I intended on repeating the process near-daily until it stuck. I wasn't planning for it to work immediately and neither was she.

Imagine my surprise when suddenly I pulled out the watch, dangled it in front of my webcam, and she dropped off, her breathing levelling out and deepening, and obviously went into a trance, and not a really light one, either.

I proceeded to utterly torture her with it, forcing her to go deeper and deeper and at one point had her cumming practically nonstop for nearly five minutes, making her cum harder with each successive sighting as she was dragged deeper.

It was a beauty to behold, and I wish her cam had been on but she's very iffy about being on cam and I try not to force her to be on cam too much. That doesn't mean I let her always hide away off-camera but it does mean that I don't usually push the issue if she's obviously having a hard time of it. (That leads me to another point for later in the post today.)

Now, there's a strong likelihood that the trigger isn't permanent and I have intentions to continue the trigger insertion process, but differently this time. We are going to test out the watch as daily as possible and when the initial trance becomes noticeably lighter then I will retrain her with the trigger and continue on like that until it is permanent even if there are several days between using the watch.

Today was the first trial and the watch worked beautifully. It set her into a light, but not so light she would be woken up too easily, trance and each successive viewing sent her deeper and deeper. Right now as I type she is in a trance, relaxing and enjoying the trance and excape from the stress of being around her family on Boxing Day when they all get together and everyone who couldn't make it to Christmas dinner has dinner together with the rest of the family. Well. She was. She just got called by her stupid family and it woke her up but I suppose that just means I get a chance to use the watch again to reinforce that she will be calm and relaxed and happy the rest of the day.

Now, onto second point! Last night kitten and I had some serious issues over her disobeying a direct order to keep her camera on. It led to a huge misunderstanding and she spent twenty minutes writing lines and mostly being ignored by me as I tried to figure out why on earth she would disobey me so badly. It turned out that it wasn't a trust issue like I thought but an avoidance issue because she was nearly being set into an anxiety attack from noticing she had cam on and hadn't realised it - she knows that sometimes I will continue to make her do something she is uncomfortable with if it is for her own good (tricky phrase, I know, but so far I have never pushed too far, and I am awfully careful about making sure it really is for her own good and not just my own wants)  and wanted to avoid asking me if she could turn her camera off because she thought I might say no.

I explained that if she just tells me that she is nearing an anxiety attack or being set off by something I am asking her to do, I am not going to force the issue. I also explained to her that if she uses the excuse too often I will look a lot more closely at her using it, but we both know she won't. She doesn't lie to me like that, in part because she knows my policy on honesty and that lying is a relationship-breaker for me, and in part because there's really no need to lie. The few times she has lied to me she did it so blatantly that I caught her out immediately, and she admitted that she wanted me to catch her.

Finally, an update on my using the watch again. It worked great and she is feeling good right now. Let's just hope it lasts like it should!!! I spent fifteen minutes reinforcing that she would be happy, content, relaxed, and calm, no matter what happened during the day. So yeah, that's today's update!

Friday 13 December 2013

Getting back into the groove of things

Is very difficult when suddenly you're ill and don't feel like doing anything.

Seriously. Way fucking difficult. All I want to do is sleep or read instead of doing things I need to do, and as a result my schedule is completely out of whack and I'm all freaking nocturnal now. Not to mention I am on my stinkin' period on top of all that.

Anyway; things are progressing somewhat. We've had a bump in the road to normalcy, one that goes by the name of Kira.

Kira's an old friend and pet and more-than-friend of mine (it's Complicated with a capital "c") who sort of disappeared from our lives around nine or ten months ago. Now, in the long run, this was a good thing because it meant that I was suddenly truly giving up on us being anything more than close friends and soul sisters, and as a result focused a lot more on kitten. That meant that kitten and I grew closer and closer than we already were, and developed into the strong relationship we have now.

But suddenly a few weeks ago Kira appeared back in our lives and everything got turned upside down. I almost lost kitten, and I'm sure that if it hadn't been for me adamantly assuring her that there was no way in hell I was letting Kira replace her, she would have tried really hard to return to second place like she thought she had been before Kira left.

One small problem with that though, and that is that she wasn't second place by the time Kira left.

Maxiekitten was already taking place in the hole Kira left behind even before Kira left, and it turned out Kira saw that (it wasn't like I was actively hiding it or anything, I was being very open about the changes going on and she was being very supportive of those changes for various reasons) and thought that things would progress better if she wasn't around. That isn't to say she left on purpose, but things went to shit in her life and she lost contact and once contact was gone she didn't try too hard to get it back for a while, because of that.

Reading over it this all sounds very confusing and in dire need of clarification. Kira is an ex-girlfriend of mine who is only recently (within the past year and a half) an "ex". She's been my best friend for around nine or ten years now, and we have been everything from soul-sibs to lovers to Mistress/pet. She came to me for healing the second time she entered my life, she was in an unhealthy marriage and being mistreated by her husband in many ways, even though he never hit her. He was always first in her life, and I knew that we weren't really meant to be more than soul-sibs in the long run but I fell in love with her all over again (I had been in love with her the first time I knew her but we were both in the closet) despite knowing this and ended up with a lapful of heartache for my efforts. It wasn't that she didn't love me, but her husband, no matter how much he mistreated her, always came first. (Just so you know, no cheating was going on, he knew about me and didn't give a damn because he knew she'd never leave him for me.)

Eventually their relationship hit rock bottom and they split up and she leaned on me even more but I was still never first place. There was always someone else, or the hope for someone else. She was always looking for a replacement for him, until shortly before she left when suddenly she started to grow more independent and I realised that she didn't need me to support her any more, as well as that I would probably never really be first in her heart. She had a little bit of difficulty coming to the realisation that she didn't need me how she thought she did though, even after re-entering my life for a second time, but since I was second-place in her life for almost the entire time I knew her, she is happy now that I finally have someone I am willing to put first in my heart that isn't her.

I think she's still struggling a little bit with the change because unlike kitten and I she didn't have anyone else to take my place when she left us behind, but she's taking the changes well and like I said, actively encouraged us to grow closer in the past. She has someone to take my place now as her Dominant though, so kitten doesn't have to share me with her as a Mistress, which is for the best really. I think kitten would have shared me even though she didn't want to, and would have ended up resenting us both for it.

I don't know that for sure though. That's just my thinking. In either case, she doesn't have to share me in that way, Kira is accepting me as a sister instead of a lover or girlfriend or Mistress, even if she's having to fight old habits somewhat to do so.

So anyways, yeah, we're finally starting to settle into somewhat of a routine but it's taking forever because things keep getting in the way; first Kira came back, now I'm sick, and I'm also on my cycle. I can only hope that nothing else decides it would be fun to get in the way of kitten and I trying to get back to how things were, but this illness seems damn determined to get in our way enough as it is.

Then again, I think the whole mess with Kira is a good thing. I have a sneaking suspicion that if Kira hadn't come back, kitten would always wonder if she was really first in my heart and would always wonder if Kira might come back and take her place. But now she knows for sure that it won't happen because Kira came back and kitten is still first in my heart. <3