In the last hour, kitten has made many mistakes in her conversation with Mistress, the gravest of these errors was suggesting that Mistress punish kitten by humiliating her. kitten has been ordered to explain what was going through her head for her to say that. The truth is that not nearly enough thinking was going on, after realising that kitten had been wilful and not at all submissive while Mistress was feeling very dominant, a feeling of desperation overtook kitten to try and do something right. In this desperation, kitten blurted out that Mistress should beat or humiliate kitten. kitten wants to make it known that she was feeling an increased level of anxiety due to having taken painkillers but this is not in any way an excuse for what kitten chose to say. kitten did not think before she spoke, that is why such a terrible thing was suggested.
kitten must also explain exactly why this was wrong, which is taking a lot of hard thought on kitten's part. kitten believes the suggestion of humiliation was so wrong because Mistress has had such terrible experiences with punishment by humiliation earlier in life and it was a terrible insult to suggest that Mistress would inflict even a fraction of that upon kitten when Mistress is such a kind and understanding Dominant. Also Mistress would never consider humiliating kitten, knowing how badly kitten is triggered by such things; asking to be triggered suggests that Mistress would even consider something bordering on abuse.
kitten is extremely sorry for what she said without thinking, and kitten will never suggest such a thing again. kitten hopes that this blog post explains everything that Mistress wanted from kitten, and that Mistress will eventually be able to forgive kitten for this terrible action.
