/Lesigh

It's that time of the month. No posts lately and likely none til I am over this.

Although, do have pdoc appointment on friday, which will be.. interesting. I have some shit to bring up. Am very worried they will put me on a daily preventative anxiety suppressant as well as my PRN, and as well as my Saphris. Despite my ocd with threes, my hard limit for pills is actually 4. I will not let myself take/be put on more than 4 types of medication simultaneously (excluding allergy meds) and if they want to fight me on that they fucking can but my aim is to get to a point where I can function on a daily basis, not take a fucking cocktail of pills and be drugged up.

I might be changing my name soon - legally - to include my "real" name in it. We ("we" being my mother and I) are going to look into it on friday before or after my appointment. Probably before. It's best to find out whether it's even feasible, money-wise before bringing it up with the food stamps and pdoc office to see about getting it changed for official stuff. Thank fuck I have no bank accounts or car/insurance or any shit like that. Just my I.D. (cannot drive, tourettes makes for deadly game of chance) and food stamps and being on safetynet for healthcare.

Those shouldn't be too difficult to change, especially since I am just adding Marina in, not taking anything else out. But in any case we have to find out how to do it and what paperwork and fees and all sorts of things have to be calculated. I am glad I brought this up to my mother, because she is being shockingly accepting of it. I think me not wanting to get rid of my first or middle names is a factor. I just wanna slip Marina between the two so I can walk up to someone and say with the full force of legality behind it "Hi, my name is (insert first name here) Marina, I prefer to be called Mari." I'm excited, to say the least.

Anyhow that's about it, I may or may not have a post on friday, or any other day for a week to a week and a half depending how long this lasts. Or maybe sooner as well. Whoooo fucking knows. Not me that's for sure.